A Female Tarzan
by WesDaaman
Summary: Someone in the Mystery Shack is going to have a big secret revealed. It is a secret from an amazing moment in their younger life, and it may change everyone's look on that character.
1. An Unexpected Visitor

One of the most unexpected of past things can appear in something or someone that you would least suspect. If you yourself were that one to hold this big secret, how would you handle to express it if someone found out somehow?

Things were going to get that way at the Mystery Shack.

* * *

><p>Soos was just getting done showing Dipper and Mabel one of his hidden snack stashes hidden within one of the Mystery Shack's closets.<p>

"This is how I protect the lunch I bring from home to eat here when break time comes," said Soos, opening the closet door wide enough for Dipper and Mabel to see bags of snacks tucked in both corners of the closet room, "And let me tell you, dudes, it's one of the most successful things I have ever done!"

"Seriously?" asked Dipper, "Stan doesn't come across these whenever?"

"Nope, he's too busy looking at bills all the time," chuckled Soos.

"Soos, you, my friend, are amazing!" said Mabel with glee in her eyes, "I've always done the same thing: try to stash things like this from Dipper for ages."

"You have?" questioned Dipper, "What are you stashing from me?"

"N-nothing important," replied Mabel, thinking about the times she had hidden both snacks and some of Dipper's personal love letters to different girls he used to have crushes on away from him just for mischief.

"Speaking of which," said Soos, noticing his stomach growling, "Let's eat now, it's already lunchtime, dudes!"

He reached into the closet and pulled out a few bags of pretzels and crackers for himself and the Pines twins.

Just as the three began to head for the door to eat outside, they noticed Wendy sitting at the register and looking a little blue. Being her friends, Soos, Dipper and Mabel wanted to do something for her.

"Hey, Wendy, want to come out and have lunch with us?" asked Mabel politely.

"Yeah, I've got snacks galore, right here!," said Soos.

"And maybe you can talk about what's bugging you?" added Dipper, wanting to know about the feelings of the girl he had his biggest crush on.

"Well...okay," muttered Wendy, attempting to feel happy, "I guess I could use a break outside."

Outside on the porch, the four ate their snacks with pleasure. Yet, Wendy ate slower than the others, still feeling a bit blue.

"Guys?" asked Wendy, finally after a bit of silence, "can you keep a secret?"

"Sure!" said Mabel, "Does it involve new cute boys?"

"Or a lost family members?" suggested Soos.

"None of those things," said Wendy, "I-it's that...well...uh...sometimes I feel as though I should live out in the wilds."

"Huh?" exclaimed the twins and Soos.

"Yeah, I know it sounds weird," continued Wendy, "but have you guys ever felt like living outdoors too?"

Soos, Mabel and Dipper actually had wondered that before and talked with Wendy about what they felt sometimes in their personal lives. It seemed as though, however, Wendy was hiding something else, something even greater. As if she had lived out in the forest before.

All of a sudden, out of the bushes popped out a strange-looking, light amber-eyed creature. It had a hairy body with Primate-like hands. It was about the height of almost 2 feet. Its most striking feature was its Bat-like features on its head, including a large, fleshy nose (giving it an acute sense of smell) and a pair of ears (giving it incredible hearing) adapted for listening to high frequencies. It even had a very tiny, secondary pair of eyes used for heat and motion detection. The sight of this thing was, of course, startling and amazing to the group. Wendy, however, had a facial expression that implied that she recognized this being.

"Hey! Wendy! Old pal!" greeted the Bat-like thing in its somewhat nasally-sounding voice with a slight New Yorker's accent (apparently being male), bounding over to the porch and shaking Wendy's hand, "Long time no see!" He then turned his gaze over to the twins and Soos. "Whoa, more young Humans?" The creature crept over to Dipper, Mabel and Soos and sniffed them each. "So, are you Wendy's friends, or what?"

"Uhhh...Wendy?" stuttered Soos in worry.

"Um...hi," said Mabel, curiosity once again coming into play.

"Say...Wendy," asked Dipper feeling unsure about this Bat-like being, "Who and what is this?"

"Dipper, Mabel, Soos," said Wendy, "this is Twigsnatcher, the Hobgoblin."

"On chante," greeted Twigsnatcher, "Yeah, orange-haired gal and I are old pals. Want to know how we met? It's an interesting story, you see-"

"It's not important!" interrupted Wendy, feeling as though as secret was almost about to be revealed.

"Whatever you say, Wen," said Twigsnatcher, climbing up one of the porch's column for a different angle to look at the four Humans. "Now if you recall, you have a...how should I put it...an important matter to attend to sometime in your later life. And that time has come now."

"S-so it has," said Wendy, looking suddenly surprised at what the Hobgoblin was hinting at.

"What's all this about?" Dipper asked her.

"Hold on now," immediately spoke Twigsnatcher, jumping down from the wooden column and looking straight at Wendy with a smirk on his face, "that would be giving away a very age-old secret. And we certainly don't want to...endanger you-know-who."

"No," muttered Wendy, looking a bit worried now, "We wouldn't."

And with that Wendy got up out of her seat and began to follow the Hobgoblin as he led her into the forest. "I'll be back soon, guys!" she called over to Dipper, Soos and Mabel.

After a long pause, Soos finally spoke. "Dudes, it looks we've got another mystery on our hands."

"That's what I was going to say," said Mabel playfully to Soos.

"And it involves Wendy again," said Dipper. He then lowered the tone of his voice so only he could hear himself. "Wendy just more and more interesting, and with that my love for her."


	2. Back to Wendy's Past

While Soos looked carefully at stuffed replicas of Hobgoblin-like beings in the Mystery Shack, Dipper and Mabel were up on their bedroom, looking at the journal marked "3". Within the pages they found two pages on Hobgoblins.

It said that Hobgoblins, despite what one might think, are not true Goblins, but instead a less malicious and more mischievous type of Creature. Apparently Twigsnatcher was a Common Hobgoblin.

"So these Hobgoblins are probably nothing to really worry about," said Dipper, pondering the facts.

"They look like fun, with their pranks and everything!" said Mabel with intrigue in her eyes.

"But what kind of 'business' does Twigsnatcher want with Wendy?" continued Dipper.

The twins decided that there was no choice but to track Wendy and the mysterious Hobgoblin down. They rushed downstairs with backpacks filled with bare essentials and rounded up Soos to go out into the wilderness with them. However, they left Grunkle Stan behind, for he had fallen asleep in his chair in front of the television. Once Stan awoke after the three had gone out into the woods, he could not find them anywhere throughout the whole Mystery Shack.

"Oh no, where are they?" said Stan feeling quite anxious about loosing track of his grandniece and grandnephew and his two employees. "Something could have happened to them. Or even worse...something bad could happen to me! I am going to lose so much profits and reputation from this! Especially from the parents!" And so he kept searching around the shack, soon about to check the forest.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, out in the forest, Dipper, Mabel and Soos were hiking around, looking for Wendy and Twigsnatcher.<p>

"Nothing in here," commented Mabel, looking in a hollow log.

"They're definitely not up there neither," said Soos, looking carefully up at the trees.

"Why would they be in either of those places anyway?" said Dipper, really determined to find out what was going on.

Suddenly, the sound of arguing was heard just 60 feet away. Peering over some bushes after heading in the direction 60 feet away, the three found Wendy and Twigsnatcher, sitting on stones, debating something.

"I really can't believe I'm actually returning here...," spoke Wendy, feeling a little anxious from something that appeared to make her feel both shy and happy, "...but is this really all you brought me out here for? To clean your sunbathing rocks and catch you some food?"

"Yep," answered Twigsnatcher, leaning back against the large rock he was on, "You see, I only had three naps today. I'm really dragging here. Oh yeah, and I have some self-grooming I got to catch up on."

"Just how lazy are you, dude?" criticized Wendy. "Are you going to make me your own personal servant?"

"Maybe so," chuckled the Hobgoblin, "And the best part of it is...you don't have a choice, Wendy...you don't want to endanger your own 'secondary family,' now do you?"

"Wait!" shouted out a really familiar voice, "You don't have to listen to him, Wendy!"

Out of the bushes came Dipper, finishing off his objection, followed by his sister and Soos.

"D-did you guys just try to track me down just to help?" asked Wendy, starting to feel heart-warmed that her friends wanted to help her.

"We sure did," added Mabel, "I, for one, thought Twigsnatcher would try to eat you or something."

"Uuhh...Twigsnatcher dude? Were you really going to do that as well as make her your 'housemaid?'" asked Soos curiously.

"Of course I won't eat her!" laughed Twigsnatcher, "Us Hobgoblins are too weak to take down one of your kind. Plus, we have no taste for Human carrion. We like to eat mostly fruit and small Birds."

"I really guess there's not much of a reason to hide it anymore," said Wendy with a shrug, "Dipper, Soos, Mabel, let me tell you guys the secret that me and Twigsnatcher here have been hiding..."

"We won't tell anyone else!" said Soos and the twins in unison.

Wendy cleared her throat and began. "Three years ago, when I was 12, my dad had taken me out into these same woods for an attempt to teach me an early form of lumberjacking. Of course, I didn't want to do it."

* * *

><p>(In comes the flashback)<p>

_Twelve-year-old Wendy sat there on a tree stump, looking both bored and a bit unhappy as her father rattled on about how to properly swing an axe in the right method to take down trees._

_"Hold tight now, Wendy," said Mr. Corduroy, "Let me go fetch your brothers, they'll love this."_

_And so he went off back home, leaving his daughter there on the stump alone. Wendy groaned in displeasure._

_"Why does he think I'll follow in his footsteps?" she questioned to herself, "I don't want to cut down trees, especially not big and healthy ones that don't YET deserve to be used for lumber. They're just so beautiful."_

_That is when it occurred to her; in order to escape the life of a lumberjack's daughter, she would have to literally escape for as long as she could. Ready for a new life somewhere new, the girl ran off into the forest, leaving behind only her hat._

_Out in the forest, Wendy walked amongst the trees; watching Western Meadowlarks, Black-Chinned Hummingbirds and Insects fly about, Western Gray Squirrels and Common Porcupines scurry both on the ground and up in the trees, and even a few Elk, Mule Deer and White-Tailed Deer feeding on the fresh foliage._

_"This feels like the life probably should really live," Wendy thought to herself, feeling a bit of bliss from her natural surroundings._

_However, her beautiful outing was going to show that this forestland is not the paradise it first appears. The reason for this was because she was being watched from the dense vegetation by a pair of yellow, catlike eyes, focusing right on the young Human girl and ready to pounce. Out of the bushes it then pounced right in front of her, snarling. Indeed, it was a Cougar._

_"N-n-nice k-k-k-kitty...," stammered a now frightened Wendy, knowing what she was in the presence of._

_The Cougar let out a loud, screaming roar at her and, the next thing you know it, twelve-year-old Wendy was running for her life from one of North America's largest predators._


	3. A New Family

"Oh no! Did you make it out of there alive?" asked Mabel in worry, listening to Wendy's story.

"Well, yeah, Mabel," said Wendy with an obvious look on her face, "I'm here today, telling the story."

"That you are," said Soos.

"So what happened when that Cougar chased you?" asked Dipper.

"This'll be interesting," muttered Twigsnatcher under his own breath.

"Well...," continued Wendy, "I definitely thought I was done for..."

* * *

><p>(In comes the flashback)<p>

_Preteen Wendy raced for her life through the forest, dodging low-hanging branches and jumping over logs, the Cougar right on her tail. Just as all hope seemed lost, Wendy ended up crashing into a tall, strange-smelling, hairy thing, squatting on the ground and facing away from her, eating berries. It turned its head around to see what had bumped into it. This beast had a rather Gorilla-like appearance, but was brown-colored and had longer hind limbs. This is was obviously a legendary Sasquatch._

_"Whoa! Bigfoot!" exclaimed Wendy in amazement, "Uh...c-could you help me? I'm being chased by a Cougar."_

_The large Ape saw the Cougar speeding towards it and Wendy and let out a bellowing grunt, sounding very Gorilla-like, as a threat to scare the big cat away. The Large Felid stopped racing forward and snarled, ears back and showing its teeth. The Sasquatch turned to face the predator and pounded its chest while making deep-throated hoots in a territorial threat display. Wendy watched as the Cougar gave up and retreated in search of a different target. She and the Sasquatch then looked at each other, eye to eye. The big Ape had a gentle gaze and understood that this young Human was obviously lost, far from home._

_Wendy felt a little hesitant as the Sasquatch began to lumber away down a small nearby slope. She now officially no idea where to go, back home with a lumberjack for a father or follow her sudden protector? The Sasquatch then gestured with its hands for Wendy to follow it, welcoming her to come along if she wanted to._

_"Sure! I'll come!" responded Wendy, delighted by the giant Ape's kind offer. And so she followed it._

* * *

><p><em>The two Primates soon arrived in a small clearing where a few more individual Sasquatches sat grooming each other and feeding on whatever they had gotten: bark, fruit, Moss, Insects, Spiders and Bird eggs.<em>

_The Sasquatch that had saved Wendy (who, found out soon by Wendy, was actually female) grunted out couple times to indicate that something interesting had been found. The rest of the group looked curiously at Wendy, who was now a little shy. One of the male Sasquatches glared coldly at her and let out a nasally snort, a sign that he did not trust Humans at all. Just as Wendy flinched from being startled from the snort, the female who rescued her gestured for another individual to come over._

_This other Sasquatch was an aging old male. He had one broken cusped tooth and dull markings in his fur, portraying that he was almost at the end of his days. He looked at Wendy carefully, leaning down to her height, seeing eye to eye (much to Wendy's nervousness). He then started to grunt a couple of times to her._

_"I'm sorry, but I don't speak your language," said Wendy, knowing that this was an attempt to communicate._

_Quite strangely, though, as the old male grunted a few more times to her, his sounds started to sound almost perfectly clear to her. And then, rather unexpectedly, she heard him then say, "Can you understand me now?"_

_"Whoa!" gasped Wendy in surprise, amazed at what was going on right then, "I-I understood you that time!"_

_"Because you let a special enchanted power to enter your heart," continued the old Sasquatch, "It is called Omnilinguis. And I can teach many this ability. I am actually not speaking your original tongue, the power of Omnilinguis is translating for you and I so we can understand one another."_

_"It is a very special gift," added the female Sasquatch who had just rescued Wendy. "Now that we can understand you, and you can understand us, please, tell us about yourself, little one, why are you alone, so far from the nearest Human clan?"_

_"Well," said Wendy, still amazed about this magical ability of understanding any vocal language, "My name is Wendy, and I have an interesting story to tell. Basically, my family isn't exactly as tight as yours..."_


	4. Secrets and Searching

_12-year-old Wendy was now spending her time for days in the forest amongst this caring Sasquatch troop. She grew to like the social game of grooming, foraging for food and play-fighting with the young Sasquatches her age. However, at times, she wondered if her family back in Gravity Falls was worried, looking for her. But she often reminded herself that they often do not take that much notice of her existence._

_She sat thoughtfully on a log, eating some freshly-picked berries from a Blueberry bush. The female Sasquatch who had originally helped her survive her Cougar encounter, whose name was Winema, sat next to her and asked her about what the young Human girl was thinking about._

_"I really like this forest life, Winema. Sleeping, eating and playing here is really unique. Your family is really tied close," complimented Wendy, "I-It's a shame that my family back home isn't like yours. There's part of me that doesn't want to go back."_

_"You keep saying that," said Winema, "Why do you say such things about your family?"_

_"Well, see," said Wendy, "We've actually kind of...drifted apart...ever since my mother...passed..."_

_"That is very sad," responded Winema with sympathy, "And what is it about your father and brothers that repels you away?"_

_"We Corduroy's are tuff," answered Wendy, "But I have more better manners than they do. My dad is really rough and annoying, so much so that he likes to take down trees for pleasure and work."_

_"Why would he kill trees for such meaningless reasons?" asked Winema._

_"I really don't know," sighed Wendy, "Basically, lumberjacks like him are really hard to understand."_

_"That's more than I can say for you," snarled the same male Sasquatch that did not trust Wendy's presence, sitting not to far away, using a twig to catch Ants out of an Ant hole._

_"D-don't mind him, Wendy," said Winema with reassurance, acting very motherly in her care for Wendy, "That's just my brother, Thathan. He has never really trusted your kind ever. Not since our grandmother was caught in the sight of two adult male Humans in 1962. Since then, he has become really paranoid at the sign of any Human in the area. He is desperate to make sure our kind's existence is not revealed to the rest of the Human society."_

_"The Patterson-Gimlin film?" thought Wendy to herself, "That was real?"_

* * *

><p>"So how long did you stay with those Sasquatches?" asked Soos, interrupting Wendy's flashback.<p>

"It was for like 2 or 3 weeks," answered Wendy, "Winema was almost like the mom I never had."

"Sssooo...how does the Hobgoblin fit into this?" asked Dipper, pointing at Twigsnatcher.

"You should definitely know, pal," said Twigsnatcher with a smile.

"Did you do something dangerous to her?" asked Mabel.

"Not really...," began the mischievous Hobgoblin, "I one day, popped out of the bushes in front of her after eating some tasty little Birds and we both scared each other by accident. Apparently Wendy was now deciding to leave her Sasquatch foster family, but promised that she would see them again someday. So I offered to lead her back to your town. Then, just out of mischief, I struck a deal with her: I would not reveal Sasquatch existence to your community unless she, at some point in the years to come, did something for me since I did something for her by leading her back to Humans."

"And now three years have passed since then," said Wendy, looking over her shoulder at the tree line, "I actually want to meet my 'other' family again, but I want you guys to promise, since your out here with me and Twigsnatcher, to keep Sasquatch existence a secret from the rest of humanity."

"I see," said Dipper thoughtfully, "Otherwise, scientists will want to constantly study them and circus people might catch them. Right?"

"Exactly," replied Wendy.

"Well, Wendy, I definitely promise. Soos honor!" saluted Soos, who then got a congratulating high five from Wendy.

"The secret's also safe with me, girlfriend!" said Mabel with a smile and pride, then getting a back-pat from Wendy.

"Your great secret to protect a species is definitely in good hands, like mine," added Dipper with a formal bow just for kicks, who then got both a big thanking hug and big kiss on his cheek from the girl of his dreams, causing him to then blush and sweat greatly.

"Alright, let's get a move on," said Twigsnatcher impatiently, tapping his hind foot on the ground with his arms crossed. "We can all go 'Bigfoot-watching' now, and I soon have got to tend to my burrow."

Just as the four young Humans and one Hobgoblin started off, Grunkle Stan suddenly appeared, racing through the wood in desperation, looking for the missing kids. Once he saw them he smiled.

"There you are, kids!" he shouted in relief, coming up to them, "I was just about to make fliers for you all being missing. And here you are out in the woods with a Bat-like thing."

"Did he really get worried for our safety, Mabel?" whispered Dipper to his sister in curiosity.

"Maybe Grunkle Stan really does have his family bond with us," answered Mabel with happiness.

"I mean, how else am I to earn the trust of your parents and their money if I can't keep track of you?" Stan then said, starting to imply that he was still a cheapskate, but still cared for them nonetheless. "Now what's going on here?"

After Twigsnatcher told the old man about what he was and that they were going to meet some Sasquatches, Stan decided to just tag along for both something to do and to possibly try to get ideas on how to make new profits off of live Sasquatches, only to then be warned by Wendy not to reveal their existence to anyone else.


	5. Reunion

The group, led by Twigsnatcher and Wendy, continued through the forest, soon ending up in a remote area far from the nearest civilization. Dipper was very fascinated by this story of Wendy being partly raised by the famous cryptids of the Pacific Northwest themselves, Sasquatches (specifically of the northwestern USA subspecies).

"The time you had with these Sasquatches is sort of like...like Edgar Rice Burroughs' Tarzan," he said to her, "Would you think?"

"Yeah, I guess it is," responded Wendy with intrigue to Dipper's comparison, remembering the original Tarzan novel being reviewed once back in school. "I like how you think, Dip."

And with that Wendy gave an affectionate head-rub to Dipper, causing him to have a speedy heart rate. Mabel and Soos noticed this and both grinned with great amusement. Stan, however, paid absolutely no attention to this and was instead being lectured by Twigsnatcher about how pranking was a Hobgoblin's biggest talent, who was sitting on the old Human's shoulders.

"So...you like to scam anyone for anything?" Stan asked Twigsnatcher.

"If you're talking about currency, then no," replied Twigsnatcher with a brief jump into the air and landing smoothly back onto Stan's shoulders, "Us Hobgoblins do like to trip unwary Humans in the densest of woodlands, and we sometimes like to steal discarded young Human teeth left out for the Tooth Fairy from underneath pillows. Elves and Leprechauns tell us that it's wrong to do so, but somehow Pixies get away with it at times for some reason."

"Hhhmm...," wondered Stan, "With your kind of mischief, you could probably be a star attraction at the Mystery Shack! What do you say, Twigsnatcher?"

"Me? Perform in front of several Humans?" questioned Twigsnatcher, "What are you, nuts? I'd get mutilated by smugglers!"

"I guess you have a point there," responded Stan, remembering times when secret smugglers tried to steal some of his supernatural artifact discoveries at the Shack.

* * *

><p>Finally, they all reached a particularly verdant area of the forest. Wendy knew strait away that they had already reached the territory of the Sasquatch family that had raised her three years ago.<p>

"Stay back for a minute everyone," said Wendy to the rest of the group, "I need to present myself to the Sasquatches and then assure them you're cool, then you can come further."

Listening to her request, the group stayed back within the thicket and let the teenage girl enter the verdant clearing. "Hey! Everyone! Come now! Do you remember me? It's me, Wendy! The Human girl you raised for a couple of weeks three years ago! I've come back to see you all!"

The Sasquatches, who had just gone into hiding from the sound of footsteps approaching from earlier, began to emerge out of the undergrowth and became quite pleased at the sight of Wendy, their old foster child. They all scuttled over to her and greeted her, welcoming her back. When Winema emerged, she and Wendy immediately hugged each other, almost as if they were mother and daughter.

"It is so good to see you again, Wendy," said Winema happily, "I missed you quite a bit."

"I missed you too, Winema," responded Wendy, both her and Winema now shedding tears of joy.

From back in the thicket, the rest of the Mystery Shack group watched the reunion with awe and wonder and emotion.

"It's so touching," said Mabel, her heart feeling warmed for this affection her older friend was getting from the family that took kindly to her.

"Wow, Bigfoot galore!" said Soos in awe.

"Whoa, that sure is both fascinating and touching," said Dipper, feeling both proud for Wendy and intrigued by the sight of live Sasquatches.

"Yep...it's touching," said Twigsnatcher, trying to hold his emotions in, but to no avail.

"I could be rich right now with these specimens!" said Stan in amazement, but then shifting over to being annoyed about keeping a secret, "But I can't endanger their existence, as Wendy says."

After Wendy told the Sasquatches that some of her close friends from her home town had also come along and had promised to keep the secret of Sasquatch existence from the rest of the humanity (despite this, Winema's brother Thathan still had distrust, both in Wendy and her friends).

Once Dipper, Mabel, Soos and Stan were called into the clearing, they were introduced to all the Sasquatches of the troop by Wendy. Even though the rest of the Mystery Shack crew did not know how to speak the Sasquatch language like Wendy did, the old male Sasquatch who had magically taught Wendy to speak it three years ago (whose name was Ska) did the same generous thing to Soos and the three Pineses, granting them Omnilinguis, the ability to understand any verbal or vocal language. Twigsnatcher did not need the power, for he already knew how to speak to Sasquatches and he then started to have a conversation with one of them about how much of the local food should be shared between their kin.

Dipper and Mabel got along well with a lot of the younger Sasquatches in the troop; Dipper asking questions and Mabel just playing with them. Stan was sketching images of the larger Apes by using a stick in the dirt, trying to remember any details about them so he could attract customers to the Mystery Shack, but without exposing Sasquatch existence directly. Soos gossiped and joked with Wendy and two old Sasquatch friends of hers on how a lot of Human had nicknamed him "Bigfoot" in the past. All seemed good, yet Winema's brother Thathan was still not trusting the Human visitors, he just glanced with a cold look from time to time at them as he ate Ants on a stick. Winema frequently had to remind him to trust Wendy and her companions.

* * *

><p>Not too long after, Birds everywhere started to chant strangely in perfect unison, Insects starting buzzing rapidly in rhythm, and all the other Animals began to look around and realized that something fantastic was about to happen. Starting to hear the sound of distant stomping hooves and paws and different calls, Wendy suddenly recognized what was going on.<p>

"Guys! Guys!" she said to her fellow Humans with joy, "Do you know what's happening?"

"I'm not sure," said Soos, "But it sounds kind of funky."

"A racket to me," said Stan.

"What is it?" asked the twins.

"I heard and partook in this song when I first visited here," said Wendy, having great memories coming back to her of 3 years ago, "I so remember it!"

"How can you forget?" said Winema as she passed by, "It's a great harmonious chorus that happens every three years. All Animals in every region on every continent and in every ocean in the world come together, briefly discarding old hatreds, and sing this song, showing we are all the same. It is in our hearts. It is who we are."

"You guys might not have heard of it because I learned that most Humans get so distracted by things like money and modern technology that they almost cannot entirely feel the need to come join in," said Wendy to her friend, "the tribal Humans still partake in this ritual. It's called the Song of Animalia."

"Or, more archaically, the Melody of Metazoa," said a young female Sasquatch passing by.

"Let's go!" shouted Mabel in optimism, "I'd totally love to join in a celebration of being an Animal!"

"We Humans are Animals ourselves, right?" asked Soos.

"We obviously are," said Stan, slightly annoyed.

"Then let's go show our inner Animals by joining in this festive thing that happens every three years," said Dipper, feeling his inner natural pride show him how his wild side needed this kind of thing, which Wendy also found impressive in him.


	6. Melody of Metazoa

As the Sasquatch group moved onward to reach the location where the natural song of harmony, or Song of Animalia, was being held, Dipper, Mabel, Stan and Soos followed Wendy as she showed them all the acrobatic moves that she had learned three years ago on her first visit to this forest. She dodged beneath low-hanging branches and lept over logs quite smoothly, just like a trained acrobat.

"Yep!" she said as she jumped over a large fallen tree, "Spending weeks around here has strengthened my natural reflexes."

"You could be the next star attraction back at the Mystery Shack!" said Stan with intrigue.

"I've really gotta learn these moves myself!" said Soos in amazement.

"You're like a superhero!" said Mabel in awe.

"Or more than just a superhero," said Dipper with bliss in his heart, "A legend, or maybe a goddess."

"Oh Dipper," chuckled Wendy with her cheeks blushing, "You flatterer!"

As they started to keep following the Sasquatches to the unique summoning, Twigsnatcher (while sitting up on a tree branch) said, "You all go on ahead. The Melody of Metazoa is really something for mortal creatures like you to attend. We supernatural beings like to observe it. And that's what I'm doing."

"Really?" questioned Wendy, "But I thought you like to dance and sing?"

"I do, but like I said, I'm a supernatural. I can dance close by, but not in the crowd," answered Twigsnatcher strangely, "So have fun, kitties! I'll be nearby to give you supervision."

"Kitties?" muttered Stan in annoyance, "I'm an aging man!"

* * *

><p>Eventually, the group arrived at a river that was right at the base of a magnificent waterfall and already reaching the nearby coastline. The five saw that it was not just Sasquatches that were coming here. Just as they were told, countless more native wildlife was appearing in this area: Vertebrates and invertebrates, both predator and prey, all flyers, walkers and swimmers. Even some local Native American tribespeople were present.<p>

"Keep in mind," Winema said to Wendy, Soos and the Pines, just to remind them, "Every living Animal in every region of the continent is doing this in their home regions. The thing is going on in other regions on other continents. Even the oceans and seas this is happening."

Just then, Thathan rushed over to the Humans and rudely reached into their pockets, one by one, removing any electronic devices he found and started stuffing them into a nearby pile of leaves. "No advanced Human-made devices allowed in areas like this," he said coldly.

"Whoa, okay, dude," said Soos, sweating nervously from Thathan's threatening glare as the great Sasquatch turned away.

"I suppose I could go for a while without the technological chaos of modern day," said Stan, rather accepting of this.

"Yes sir!" said Mabel happily, "It's back to nature for us! In a way."

"So, Wendy?" Dipper asked Wendy, "You took part in this ceremonial nature song the last time it was held, so you know how to move with it?"

"Oh sure," replied Wendy, "this three-year-annual global dance of Animals really stays close to you, deep in your heart."

Just then, the rhythm began to commence. The whole sacred area was starting to fill with unexpectedly catchy beats coming from obscure sources. Spiders were strumming their webs in unison with long-tongued Vertebrates strumming their own tongues; large herbivores with solid body parts like hooves and antlers were stomping their hooves and clanging their antlers to add to the beat; in the water, swimming Animals were jumping and splashing to the rhythm; Birds and other flyers swooped all around and dance-flew in the air; and so much more was happening (including the resident Native American playing on their traditional instruments). So many things were going on with the different forms of musical accompaniment that the sound of the rhythm and beat was connecting with the inner natural selves within Dipper, Mabel, Wendy, Soos and Stan. They could not help but dance to this song.

"Where did I learn these moves?" shouted Stan in surprise.

NOTE: How the song went shall be presented at the end of this story


End file.
